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My daughter is trying to catch my attention

24 February 2008 6 Comments

Thursday Catherine started feeling down, and by down I mean, tired, complaining about everything, wanting to be on my lap, complaining about tummy ache, ear ache, leg pain, well…only her hair was not aching.

Friday morning she cried a lot because she didn’t want to go to school and wanted to stay home with mom. She broke my heart. She went to school, no phone calls during the day so I thought everything was fine. It was DH that picked them up at daycare at the end of the day and he was told that she had been complaining with pain all over her body. When I arrived home I checked her and she told me her right ear was really hurting so I took her to doctor’s appointment and the result was: everything is fine.

The only explanation I have, the teacher has and the daycare director has is that: Catherine misses her mom, yeap…me.

She misses being at home with me and she tries to catch my attention by saying she is in pain. The truth is that she has been very “babyish” lately, crying a lot even if it is for a small think just to catch my attention. As soon as I’m near her he just calms down and changes her behavior.

There are a few attitudes and actions I might have to take but right now spending more time with her, playing or just be next to her while she watches TV is a priority. She only sees me 3-4 hours a day and most of that time is split among her, her brother, cooking, laundry, etc., she sure misses me, I’m aware of that and it hurts.

Lack of time if one of my issues all the time, I just have to convince myself that “this is it”, that’s my life and although I would like to change it, I can’t so I just have to make it work. Quality time instead of quantity time.

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6 Comments »

holli said:

I remember – I remember how that felt. One day Faith came in as I was getting ready for work. She hugged me and said “have a nice day at work, Mommy.” There was something about the way she said it – so depressed.. I just started crying. My mom told me that I was doing what I needed to do for my family, that there would be a time I might need to be home for Faith – and I would know when that time was. I didn’t have a choice about working at that point in my life – a lot of women don’t. You do the best you can for your family, and your love will shine through. There are a lot of amazing adults who were raised by single women who had to work, married mothers who had to work – and they have nothing but admiration for them. I think children can tell the difference between ignoring them because you just don’t care – and dividing your time because you have no choice. Don’t be hard on yourself – you’re a wonderful mother. There are women who stay home 24/7 who can’t claim that honor.

Hugs to you.

holli’s last blog post..In the swirl, tap, buff!!

# 24 February 2008 at 10:51

Lynne said:

Something I did to help was try to let her “help” you do the things you’re doing. If you’re cooking, find a way for her to participate, even if it’s pretending to cook. Let her help you put clothes in the washing machine, etc. You still get things done, although it might take a few extra minutes, and she gets to feel like she’s helping Mom.

As if you’re not busy enough, I’ve tagged you!

# 25 February 2008 at 4:07

Connie said:

I love Holli and Lynne’s replies! They make a lot of sense. All I can add is that she may be remembering her time with you when she had her surgery so she wants you to herself again.

Just keep on loving her like you always do. She knows it & can feel it.

Connie’s last blog post..Getting Serious

# 26 February 2008 at 3:13

Laura (author) said:

Holli – Thanks for your comment. You made me feel much better. I’m sure she knows that I want to be with her but I also have to work. We have had some conversations about this and I try to explain why I can’t, for instance, pick her up at school. Sometimes she says: today you are going to earn money for bread, right?

# 26 February 2008 at 7:23

Laura (author) said:

Lynne: Thanks. Sometimes I do that, she participates in the cooking, the problem is that I end up spending much time cooking and having a lot to clean afterwards, but it’s a good option, and she appreciates that.
I’ll do the meme this week, I promise.

# 26 February 2008 at 7:25

Laura (author) said:

Connie: I believe that is really true, the same happened last summer when we were on holidays for almost three weeks. Going back to school was terrible.
I just wish I could leave earlier from work (now I leave at 6.30pm) but that is not possible.

# 26 February 2008 at 7:27