Competition between pre-schoolers, is it healthy or not?
My daughter and another girl from her class are having some behavior issues. They are also together in daycare and they know each other since they were little. A sort of competition between them has been a constant in their lives.
This was already an issue last year and this year the teacher thinks it is starting to have some “sick behavior” proportions. They compete with each other in every work, in every task, with friends and colleagues. If one has done something quite well the other immediately says: I did too or I did better. The difference is that the other girl has a very high esteem, she’s very influent among classmates and she has a dominant and leader profile. On the contrary, my daughter, probably due to the fact that she’s younger (they have almost one year apart) or even to her personality, she gets really emotionally affected by the things the other girl does or say.
The teacher is trying to avoid putting one of them in a different class but that is something that is crossing her mind if things get worse. My daughter’s work, which last year was not affected, this year has a few changes that can or cannot be related to the girls issue.
Last week my daughter was touching a board in class and it ended up falling on top of another girl’s head. Although the other girl wasn’t insured, my daughter got scared with the loud noise the board made falling on the floor so she started crying. The dominant girl managed to put the rest of the class laughing and calling bad names at my daughter because she was crying. The teacher was able to control the situation but she told me it was a very upsetting scene to watch because my daughter was being humiliated by the entire class due to the very influent girl.
The two girls have a very intense relationship of envy and competition that it’s not healthy. My daughter has always something to say about the other girl: she did that, she did this, she called me that, everyday she ends up talking about her. I already told her to play with the other schoolmates too but they even compete with that. If one is playing with another classmate the other also wants to play with the same classmate.
Next year they won’t be together because as she is older enough the other girl is going to first grade and my daughter will be staying one more year in Pre-School, the teacher says the problem will be solved then. But, until next September we have to be on top of this subject because as the teacher says, this is something capable of messing up my daughter’s head and have future consequences.
At daycare the teacher tells me that this type of competition is normal among the kids and that I shouldn’t worry too much about it.
Any similar events out there that you want to share?
I would also be very concerned if this happened to my kids. This other girl sounds like a bully. Can she transfer to another class? September is a long ways away, it is worrisome to think that your daughter will be subjected to this every day.
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