My Kids Relationship:Love and Hate
I am an only child so no brothers or sisters. Although it was nice not to have to struggle over things with another child, I can say I was a very lonely child. That’s why I always said I would like to have two children of my own so that they could have what I never had, a bother or sister.
I was lucky and I have two beautiful and sweet children, a son and a daughter and they can have what I haven’t: a brother/sister relationship. They can play together, they can watch tv together, they can cuddle each other and do all he things siblings should do including fighting, screaming at each other and making their parents (us) go crazy.
They have a kind of love and hate relationship. They can play along very well in good and worse, and the worse part is really the worse. It’s very difficult to control them when they get mad at each other and it always ends up causing problems among us all as a family. My husband and I don’t always agree with the education methods and these stressful situations only make things worse because we have to deal with two mad, killing each other kids. Usually none of the kids want to admit who started the fight or who is the guilty one.
My son, as the older one, can be very provocative because he already knows how to make his sister mad and we make him see that we must know when to stop teasing his sister, but it not always work because he feels we are blaming him all the time.
Some brother/sister issues are really complicated and sometimes I have serious difficulty is stopping them. Other times they are the sweetest couple and we can see they can live without each other.
I’ve talked with other parents and they all comment the same siblings relationship. I wish I could control them more and make they see that they don’t need to fight, that they can resolve things the right way but…I’m realizing that it’s a reality of sister/brother relationship.
I looked around amazon for some books about siblings relationships and I ended up with these:
Have you read any of these books? Do you have any suggestions?
There is something I call the cycle of unrequited love where the younger so desires the love of the older, who won’t give it that it creates a cycle of frustration. However, when they both hit the teenage years, that’s put aside and real relationship begins.
Until then, you might like one of the solutions for dealing with on-the-spot explosions that bring turmoil to the family (which is part of this stage) http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/when-discipline-lacks-self/
Let me know how it works!
maryleigh´s last blog ..The Master Detective
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